natalie portman radiates such a terrifying energy i can’t describe it….. it’s not exactly evil but it’s not warm either…. i feel like she could unhinge her jaw and drag me into the ocean like a kraken but she wouldn’t bc it’s undignified
Wanna know why?
“Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman told the crowd at Saturday’s Women’s March in downtown Los Angeles that she experienced what she calls “sexual terrorism” as a 13-year-old after the release of the film The Professional.
Portman described her pride and excitement in releasing the film, only to encounter sexually explicit messages both directed toward her and made about her.
”I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me,” she recalled. “A countdown was started on my local radio show to my 18th birthday, euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with. Movie reviewers talked about my budding breasts in reviews.”
The experience, she said, changed the way she expressed herself publicly, in order to limit the ways she could be objectified by others.
”I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually, I would feel unsafe,” she said. “And that men would feel entitled to discuss and objectify my body to my great discomfort. So I quickly adjusted my behavior. I rejected any role that even had a kissing scene and talked about that choice deliberately in interviews. I emphasized how bookish I was and how serious I was. And I cultivated an elegant way of dressing. I built a reputation for basically being prudish, conservative, nerdy, serious, in an attempt to feel that my body was safe and that my voice would be listened to.”
Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo.
I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.
With your wisdom, I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation.
As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.
This is a legitimately fine poem. I say so with my BA in English and Philosophy and my PhD. It’s DAMN HARD to write something like this. Be impressed, yo.
Transcript of poem in screenshot:
First the cracker batter baker bakes a cracker batter batch then the cracker batter mixer door will open and unlatch so the batter mixer nozzle can descend onto the patch where the cracker batter spreads out for the nozzle to attach.
When the cracker mixer nozzle sprays the cracker batter spray and the cracker batch emulsion lies a-soaking in its haze then the cracker batter mixer starts to stir up all the glaze that the final cracker stacker needs to lubricate the way.
Once the cracker stacker handle stacks the cracker batter squares then the cracker batter’s hardened into double stacks of pairs. Now the cracker separator breaks the crackers in the stackers so the wrappers on the stackers fit the finished stacking crackers.
Then they’re distributed to Wal-Mart.
I forgot about this magnificent poem, and you probably did too. Here it is again.
I highly recommend trying to read it aloud, it feels delightful and is almost impossible.
It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”
If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die
ACCURATE
And if you add the F word (example: Fucking great, fucking fine, fucking awesome), it creates a feeling of seriousness. It amplifies the intention of the word. Fucking great would go in a negative way to mean “(this) is very bad.” Fucking fine would go in a negative way as well and comes to man “(this) is horrible.” Fucking awesome would be positive and would come to mean “(this) is the truly amazing/great/awesome!”
I enjoy using “fucking stellar!” to mean “horrible” and “amazing” because shit just be like that.
I feel like any of those could be good or bad, depending on if the tone is excited or sarcastic. Either way, the fucking amplifies it
oh sure when americans say forever it means 30 minutes but brits think 2 hours is a long bus ride so
list of au’s to consider where one or both of ur otp is a hot mess:
‘i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ au
‘i’m an ikea employee and every day for the last week i’ve had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter’ au
‘i don’t know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and i’m actually looking forward to our next meeting bc you’re annoying as hell but gdi you’re hot as fuck and its kind of fun to argue with you’ au
‘i’m in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the fuck’ au
'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us’ au
'last night was supposed to be a one night stand but we drunkenly got each other’s names tattooed on each other’s ass cheeks so now its kind of hard to forget you’ au
'you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life’ au
Imagine hating trans men so much that you read the history of someone who presented as a man for so long that most people only discovered he was ~biologically female~ after his fucking autopsy and be like “well clearly he was just gender fluid” I’m fucking
he specifically asked to be buried in the clothes he died in!!!!! we only know he was trans bc someone disrespected his direct wishes after his death!!!!!!
